


Everything Stays

by citrusella



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Autistic Steven Universe, Gen, I wrote this very quickly after the finale for some reason, Post-Episode: s06e20 The Future, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23676943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrusella/pseuds/citrusella
Summary: Ever so slightly, daily and nightly, in little ways, when everything stays...Steven's therapist brings up something she's noticed about him outside his PTSD.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 106
Collections: lofi fanfics to practice social distancing to





	Everything Stays

By the time she springs it on him, she's been observing with the thought in mind for a large handful of prior sessions.

* * *

"But… I'm not anything like Onion."

"Who said you were?"

"But you said—and he's—" He frowns, his left hand slipping up into his curls, pulling just enough to sense it, not enough to hurt. "Oh, gosh, I told you personal private stuff about someone else that I have no business blabbing about—"

"Steven, it's fine." She scratches her chin and considers how much it's right of her to reveal. "Besides, I already know Onion, so I do get why you said that. And you always consider how your actions are going to affect others, even if that consideration is late sometimes." She glances away for a half-second and adds, "Heck, that's the thing you're best at. You're fine." Her voice is calming, matter-of-fact, certain in her sentiment.

He gives her a Look as if to say "as long as you're sure…" and leans back against the driver seat of the Dondai, drumming his fingers on the center console.

Still, he has questions, so many questions.

_Why does she think that? (Am I doing something that's making it obvious or something?)_

_But I don't do this, or that, or the other thing! (Or do I, and I just don't realize?)_

_Is she getting that because I'm half alien? Or because I was basically homeschooled? (Does that matter? It_ has _to matter, doesn't it? Or… huh…)_

He doesn't know which to say now and which—if any at all—to save for later. She's laid this out near the end of their videochat, so he's not sure how many he even has the time to ask—

So he lays out the one concern he's most worried about.

"…Does this change anything?" The uncertainty must be written all over his face, because her expression on the other end of the video call softens as if to tell him everything will work out fine.

"Not if you don't want it to. It's not even official—I'd only _really_ feel comfortable cementing that if we went through the actual process in person, anyhow, and that's _only_ if it's something you're interested in delving into. I just thought it was best that you know what I was thinking and what I thought I noticed. _If_ it's true, then you've been this way your whole life, so nothing's actually different; it's just a word that helps describe you, that's all. You get to decide who knows and why, not me. It doesn't have to change anything at all."

He can feel relief washing over his features, if the fact he's no longer tenser than Jasper at a convention of off colors is anything to go off.

"So… what do I do now?"

"Whatever you think you should. Keep going on your road trip. Come back and get it checked out—but remember, _only_ if _you_ want to. Keep up the weekly video calls—actually, _that's_ a professional recommendation; I wouldn't suggest stopping those. Become a grifter, selling vials of your own spit on the side of the road." A scowl forms on his face until she snorts into a laugh.

"…I'm not doing that last one."

"I wasn't expecting you to. It was a joke, Steven."

He's quiet.

"You taking it okay?"

"Yeah," he answers, pensive, "just… thinking. I don't really know what else to say."

"That's perfectly fine. Sorry to spring it on you so late in the appointment—I meant to bring it up earlier so we'd have ample time to discuss it, but it just slipped my mind. Happens to the best of us. You don't have to say anything about this if you don't want to."

He sighs. He's pretty sure that he _does_ want to talk about it, he thinks, just not today, but that's beside the point.

She reaches at the screen in a way he knows means she's checking the time.

"Well, speaking of 'late in the appointment', it's almost time to shut this puppy down unless you've got a real good reason to keep me on the line," she says, her tone upbeat, leaving a pause in case he does, in fact, have that real good reason. "Same time next week? Or are you about to switch time zones again?"

He has to think about where he'll be in seven days' time. "No, I'll still be in middle time then, I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll be visiting the," he clears his throat, "fine city of Kansas that day."

"Ooh, you'll have to tell me if you spot any celebrities!" she chuckles.

He perks up. "I'm supposed to be going to this dinner theater thing. It's with Cece Mango Ball—the voice of Crying Pear from _Crying Breakfast Friends_ —it's called Cece's Five Course Breakfast and it's supposed to be, like, her life story from her early days as a muskrateer on the Ricky Rat Club to her Narroway career and her experiences as a voice actor. Through song!"

His eyes grow starry just thinking about it, his hands happily clenched as he squees in delight, and though it's clear the doctor is watching the clock, she can't help but smile listening to him ramble so full of airy excitement, especially since his ability to do so again as freely as he's managed to recently has been a hard-won development. "So I'll see at least one celebrity!" he finishes with a smile.

He doesn't say it out loud, but he's secretly hoping for a reference to Pear's Clandestine Hip-Hop Career somewhere in there.

"Cool! You'll have to give me the recap then!" She smiles and writes something down, perhaps a reminder to ask about it. "Have a good week! And practice what we talked about," she says with a wave.

"You, too, Dr. Brooks. —The good week, not the practicing, I mean." He looks down and then snappily adds, "And thank you." He thanks her every week, but there's a difference to it this time.

"No problem," she says with a smile, as she ends the call.

Steven gets out of the car and heads back into the motel.

He's got therapy homework to do. And maybe some research, too.

He doesn't know what he's going to do next, and maybe he doesn't need to, but he guesses he has a week, if not longer, to figure it out.

He'll be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello yes the Cece's Five Course Breakfast bit was a sledgehammer of a reference to [Deedee's Universe](https://rockwell-la.com/event/crazy-talented-asians-presents-deedees-universe/), a one-night-only show with Deedee Magno Hall that I was planning on going to but my family talked me out of doing (and then all the news that happened the week of January 27 happened, and all that...). Steven gets to go to his universe's version so he never has to wonder "what if" about it. o.o
> 
> The Ricky Rat Club as a MMC knockoff was [CaptainJZH's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJZH) suggestion, but I feel I must take immense pride and credit for "muskrateer". XD
> 
> The thing they're discussing was deliberately vague on my part, but I hope it can be gleaned from the (very few) context clues (and the tag) what I was going for. :P


End file.
